


Fall a Million Times

by LadyKiwi



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Aromantic Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Canon Lesbian Relationship, Complicated Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fallen Angel, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Past Abuse, Romance, Secrets, Smut, Trauma, chaggie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27901069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKiwi/pseuds/LadyKiwi
Summary: Life on Earth was unpredictable and torturous, and surprisingly for a place known to be peaceful and joyous, Heaven wasn't much better. Yet somehow, the one place she finally felt at home was in the pits of Hell. It was quite funny actually when she thought about it.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been planning this fanfic for a while now but never got the time to write it until now. So, I'm happy to share this with y'all, and I hope you all enjoy this first chapter :)

_They deserve it._

_You’re doing a good deed._

_It’ll be over soon._

_It’s okay._

_…You’ll be okay._

She told herself over and over again in her head. But no matter how many times she tried to reassure herself, it doesn’t stop the feeling of guilt from filling up her chest.

She’s been up in the Heavens for six years now, and from the moment she arrived there, she was put straight into training for being an exterminator. At first, she went along with it and didn’t think too much about it, but after the first extermination, she’s been dreading the end of each coming year. It made her question how in the world anyone thought Heaven was the best place to be because she barely found it any better than when she was still living as a human.

“Worrying again, Vaggie?” Her girlfriend, or should she say “secret girlfriend,” spoke from behind her.

Turning around, Vaggie looked at her girlfriend of three years. Standing there was a young woman, long brunette hair tied back in a tight ponytail, and with a pair of bright green eyes staring back at her.

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t be dwelling too much,” Vaggie said, knowing where the conversation was going. It was almost like an annual tradition ever since they had met.

“They’re sinners, remember? They were bad people, and I’m more than sure all of them down there are still horrible,” her girlfriend said.

Vaggie sighed and nodded. “It’s just…I don’t feel like it’s right. These are still souls that we’re killing. A-and, this is already the afterlife. Their souls will disappear forever.”

“I know, Vaggie, but God’s intentions aren’t bad. You know that. He’s trying to help with their overpopulation issue.”

“Y-yeah.” She slowly agreed, trying her best to believe the words of her girlfriend. “We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

“Exactly,” her girlfriend said with a smile and took Vaggie’s hand in hers. “So, are you ready to watch my back as I watch yours down there?”

Taking a deep breath, Vaggie nodded and answered, “Always, mi amore. I’ll have your back no matter what.”

“That’s what I love to hear.”

Picking up her exterminator mask off the coffee table, Vaggie stared at it with a shameful look, feeling a familiar yet unsettling gut-wrenching feeling before putting it on. She couldn’t help but find it ironic. Here she was wearing a mask with an extremely wide grin, but underneath, she would be doing anything but smiling. Guilt was a neverending emotion, and her nightmares kept getting worse with each annual extermination. She just couldn’t understand how any other angel could smile as they go on a merciless killing spree.

_So much for being peaceful and angelic._

“We should get going before we’re late,” her girlfriend spoke up again and pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, let’s go.” She nodded before they went out of her house and flew toward the portal.

When they made it to the portal, she could feel her girlfriend let go of her hand as they joined the crowd of exterminators, letting their arms fall to their sides. She felt her heart sink a little, but she knew it was for the best. The last thing she’d want is to get in trouble, let alone get her girlfriend in trouble too.

Before she knew it, the portal was opening up, and the angels were flying down to Hell to kill as many demons as they could with their special spears. She closed her eye for a moment to prepare herself before following along and flying down into Pentagram City.

\-----XxX-----

Her ears were ringing. The only noise she was able to hear was the sounds of screams around her. At this point, Vaggie had lost track of time, and with each demon she’s slain with her deadly weapon, the more she felt as though she’s lost herself. Her heart felt numb, and her mind barely able to process each action she made.

She never asked to be sent to Heaven, to become an exterminator, but it happened, and now here she was wielding a dangerous spear.

 _Why? Why me? Why am I here? Why am I doing this?_ She questioned repeatedly in her head, though each possible answer she thought of was never enough to put her mind at rest.

“Vaggie, you alright?” Her girlfriend asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Looking up from her blood-covered hands and clothes, she turned to her girlfriend and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Just, uh—just a bit tired out at the moment.”

“Hang in there. It’s almost over.”

“Good. I’m glad. It’s just that everything is happening so…” Vaggie tried to explain but was struggling to find the right words.

“Fast? And it’s a lot to take in?” Her girlfriend raised a brow and guessed. “I know it’s difficult, but we’re just trying to help, and these bad feelings with eventually go aw—”

“Die, bitches!” A sudden loud voice came out from behind them, and before they could process what was happening, two demons came charging at them.

Vaggie fell to the ground as one of the demons jumped her, causing her spear to slip out of her hand and land on the ground next to them.

“This is for killing my wife, you bitch!” The demon screamed at her, punching her in the face and digging the claws of his other hand into her shoulder.

She let out a yelp as she felt the demon’s claws sink into her skin and flesh, causing her blood to trickle down her arm and drip on the pavement beneath them. She’d been attacked while on the job before, but in all six years of being an exterminator, she had never been attacked like this by a demon. Before, demons only ever screamed and ran from her, and the only time they attacked was to defend themselves when they were caught.

It always made her feel a bit like a monster, like the cold-blooded killers her fellow angels told her about that live down here in Hell, but that was nothing compared to how she was feeling now.

She never wanted to ruin a couple, break someone’s heart, kill a potential mother, but she did, and the aching feeling of guilt that she had in her chest doubled. These demons were souls too, capable of feeling the same things she could. And no matter how much she tried to convince herself that they were all sinners deserving of this cruel treatment, she just couldn’t convince herself any longer.

“I-I’m sor—”

“AARGH! V-VAGGIE!” A bloodcurdling scream interrupted her soon to be first ever apology to a demon.

She knew that voice. It was her girlfriend.

Looking to her left, she saw the horrifying sight of a demon holding a spear to her girlfriend’s throat. A rush of anger flowed through her then, and using her strength, she rolled herself and the demon on her over so he was now looking up at her in terror. Without a second thought, she pressed her knee roughly into his stomach and reached for her spear. Grabbing it, she stabbed it straight through the chest of the demon, twisted it, and pulled it out.

Without looking back or giving anything a second thought, she got up and ran toward the demon standing over her girlfriend.

“Get away from her!” She commanded, almost growling.

“Make me,” he glared back and said as he brought the spear closer to her girlfriend’s neck.

Only seeing red, she swung her spear, slicing off the arm of the demon, causing him to fall on the ground.

“Kill me,” he spat at her. “You killed my brother and sister-in-law. So how about you finish me off too?”

Any other time, those words would’ve gotten to her, but not this time. Her loved ones were not people to be messed with. And disregarding his words completely, she flashed him a final furious look and sent the spear straight through his chest, ignoring the growing pain she felt in her own.

Spinning around, she rushed to bend down and check on her girlfriend. She was holding her hand to her throat, but that didn’t stop the blood from pouring down.

“Mi amore, hold on. We’ll be back home soon.” Vaggie said hopelessly, tears welling in her eye.

Her girlfriend stared up at her with a pained and sad expression in her eyes. She wouldn’t make it. She knew it, and she knew Vaggie did too.

When the beats of her girlfriend’s heart stopped, Vaggie felt as though something broke inside her as a flow of tears came running down her cheeks, but it was hidden behind her grinning mask. She stayed sat there, holding her love in her arms, her body shaking with each sob that made its way through her body.

“Vagatha, we need to go,” another angel said, placing a hand on her back when he noticed her sitting on the ground.

The touch had startled her, and she rushed to grab her blooded spear to pointed it at the angel, fear coursing through her body.

“It’s okay, the extermination is over. We’re going back now,” he said calmly.

Panting and lowering her weapon, she looked down at her girlfriend’s body and shook her head. “N-no. She’s dead.”

“I know, but we can’t do anything about that, Vagatha,” he told her, taking a few steps towards her. “We have to leave her.”

“What? I can’t leave her here.” Her eye had widened at his words and her body trembled a little more at the thought.

A light came from the sky. It was the pentagram. It was opening again for angels to return. Seeing this, the angel across from her sighed and went to grab her arm. “Come on, we don’t have a choice.”

“I said, no!” She yelled, squirming in his grasp, trying to get him to let go.

Then it was like everything happened in a blink of an eye.

She was crumbling to her knees as the angel stared at her with blood pouring out of his mouth, her spear lodged in his stomach. The sight of the angel falling down in front of her confirmed her biggest worry since becoming an angel.

“I-I’m a monster… What have I done?”

Not able to stand being surrounded by the bodies anymore, she hurriedly took her spear and spread her wings to fly toward the portal. She was close to passing through when she felt the feathers of her wings start falling off, causing her to fall no matter how much she tried to stay in the air.

“I… Wha- what is happening?” She panicked, wondering what was happening to her.

As she fell to the ground, her halo and mask had turned to ashes and blew away in the wind, leaving her tear-stained cheeks and pain etched faced exposed for anyone to see when she came crashing to the pavement. Groaning, she frantically looked around her to watch as the dead bodies littering the streets turned to ash and blew away.

“Aaagh!” She shouted in pain. What was left of her wings started breaking down to a pile of dust around her, leaving scars on her back from where her wings once were. And when she looked down, she noticed that her clothes were badly torn up and much dirtier than before, and her hair lost its dark black pigment, turning to a silvery-white color instead. It was then that she knew what happened.

She was a sinner, a demon now belonging in hell.

She stayed laying there on the ground, to the point where she couldn’t even guess just how much time had passed. Her body occasionally shook when a sob broke through, but besides the heart-clenching cries, she remained still on the dirty ground.

That is until a voice spoke out to her, and a pair of shoes stood in front of her.

“What’s wrong, my dear?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a bit longer than expected, but I finally finished and it's out now. I hope you all enjoy this 2nd chapter!
> 
> xox Kiwi

Vaggie stared at the hand, wary and suspicious; This was Hell after all. Knowing she would be too weak to stand up on her own, she hesitantly took the offered hand. As she stood up and stared at the figure in front of her, she could notice it was a man. He was slim and dressed in all red. He also looked similar to a deer, though oddly enough, something about him reminded her a bit of a wendigo folktale she heard before.

“Are you okay, dear?” He asked with a wide smile as he stared down at her.

 _Dear? Untrustworthy grin? He’s definitely not someone I want to be around,_ she concluded in her mind. She never truly trusted men, regardless of what they may have or have not done, and the man stood in front of her was certainly no exception to that as everything about him rubbed her the wrong way. She didn’t want anything to do with him.

“I’m fine,” she answered, trying to hide the fact that she was in pain. “I was just about to get up.”

He quirked a knowing brow as his smile grew a bit wider. “It sure didn’t look that way, but nonetheless, I’m glad you’re okay. And now that we’re acquainted, what exactly do I call you?”

“The name’s Vaggie,” she replied after a moment of hesitation. She was already in Hell. There wasn’t much else she could lose by simply saying her name.

“Well, my dear Vaggie, you seem a bit new here. Perhaps I can offer you some hospitality.”

“Hospitality? Like you’d care,” she scoffed. She knew better than to fall for his tricks.

He looked down at her for a moment, taking in her guarded posture and expression. He let out a chuckle before saying, “Oh my, I’m flattered that you think that way, but you won’t be staying alone with me. However, lucky for you, I will be staying in the same building.”

“I’d rather you not,” Vaggie grumbled.

“Nonsense! I can cook a great jambalaya!”

She groaned. The man was a bit too cheery for her liking. “Okay, so…where exactly is this place you’re talking about?”

“Why the Hazbin Hotel, of course!” He said as though it was obvious. “So what do you say? It’ll be a wonderful stay.”

“What kind of name is that?”

“It used to be the Happy Hotel, but that was very offputting, and hazbin seemed much more fitting,” he shrugged. “Anyway, your answer, my dear?”

“Nope. No. I am not spending my time down here in some lame hotel you work at,” she shook her head and began walking away. To where? She wasn’t sure, but she sure didn’t want to be around the deer demon for any longer.

“Obviously, you’re new to Hell. Meaning, you’re also homeless, and if you come to Hazbin Hotel, it’ll be free for you,” he said out to her, a hint of a smirk on his face.

She knew he was right, but he was also a stranger and seemed like a highly untrustworthy man. However, she needed to get some rest…

_Am I really that desperate?_

She sighed. She was.

“Okay, fine, I’ll go. But no funny business, and don’t expect me to stay for long,” she said with a glare, wanting to get her point across to him.

Putting his arms up like he was surrendering, he grinned and said, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“My god,” she groaned, slowly regretting her decision. “Okay, let’s just go. Can we?”

“Of course! Follow me!” He exclaimed as he started leading the way, leaving Vaggie to trail behind him with a bit of a pained scowl on her face.

\-----XxX-----

“Here it is, my dear!” The deer demon joyfully said when they made it to the Hazbin Hotel.

They stood outside the building, and Vaggie took a quick look at the hotel. It was a very large and tall building with a bright “Hazbin Hotel” sign, though she couldn’t help but think that it looked a bit like a dump. Sure, she didn’t expect it to be a five-star hotel, but the damn building had an old ship coming out the side of it, and it looked as though it could come crumbling down to the ground any second.

“It looks like it was built by the mad hatter,” she mumbled.

“What was that?” The man asked, looking at her with a quirked brow, though his smile still not faltering.

She sighed and shook her head. “Nothing. Can we go inside? I need some rest.”

“Certainly!” He opened up the front entrances and stood off to the side a bit, waiting for her to enter first.

Slowly, she braced herself for what might come and walked through the entrance of the building. Scanning around the room, she was glad it looked better inside than on the outside.

“Oh, Huskeeerr!” The dear demon called out, holding out the end of the name longer than it should. “Can you come here please? I need your assistance.”

Vaggie noticed a grouchy cat demon slugging himself toward them, giving a tired glare at the demon standing next to her.

“What the fuck do you want? We all almost just died, so why the hell are you happy?” The obviously upset man said.

“My my, Husk, you need to relax. I thought I’d cheer us all up from this post-extermination mood with a new guest—”

“Guest?” A voice echoed and a young blonde woman looking around her age came sprinting down a hall to her. “Oh my Satan, we have a new guest!”

Vaggie watched as the blonde smiled at her before shaking her hand excitedly. She had to admit, though the woman was a bit too overly happy for her liking, she was quite beautiful with her rosy red cheeks and bright yellow-golden eyes.

_Jesus. Get over it, Vaggie. Pretty people exist. And not to mention your girlfriend, who is also very beautiful, just passed away!_

“You alright there?” The blonde asked concerned, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Oh, who am I kidding? An extermination just happened, and you look like you’ve been thrown around like a toy. Of course you aren’t alright.”

That made her raise a brow. The demon was worrying about her. A complete stranger she just met. It was very…odd to her. She figured Hell would’ve corrupted everyone and turn them all into heartless monsters, but so far, everything she knew was proven wrong. Maybe it was about time she got to understand the demons’ way of living. She was one too now after all.

“Charlie, calm down. You’re scaring the girl,” the man beside her finally spoke up again.

An apologetic look made its way over the blonde’s features. “Sorry about that. I’m just happy you decided to come is all.”

“Don’t worry about it. And well, I kinda need a place to stay and rest, and then I heard about this hotel, so I figured why not,” Vaggie said honestly.

“Well, you made a great decision,” the blonde beamed. “I’m Charlie, by the way.”

“Vaggie,” she gave a slight timid smile back.

“Nice to meet you, Vaggie. Now, how about we book you into a room?”

Vaggie nodded and replied, “That sounds fine to me.”

“Great! Follow me,” Charlie started walking over to the front desk, waving the silver-haired girl to follow.

Charlie started scavaging around through some papers. As she was doing that, Vaggie waited patiently on the other side of the desk when sudden quick movements happened around her.

“I- What was that?” Vaggie looked around her but saw nobody near her. However, when she looked down, she noticed a little demon dusting her clothes.

“Uh, excuse you?”

“Hi! I’m Niffty, the housekeeper here,” she smiled as she introduced herself, though she kept dusting the girl’s clothes.

“I’m Vaggie. Also, do you mind?” Vaggie tried her best to be nice to the small demon.

“Don’t mind her. She’s cleaning obsessed,” Husk, from what she remembered, said as he walked up next to them. “But anyway, do you have any shit I got to take up to your room?”

Looking the new demon up and down, and then around her, he noticed there weren’t any bags or some sort of luggage to carry. “Oh great, you don’t have anything.”

“You’re strangely unhappy for a person working here,” she remarked.

Husked shrugged. “I don’t like smiling so much, and I don’t have the energy to fake happiness.”

“That.. actually sounds very reasonable,” she said back.

Without another word, he walked away back to the hotel’s bar.

“Ah ha! Here’s your room key,” Charlie smiled and said, gaining Vaggie’s attention again.

“Thanks,” Vaggie said as she was handed the key.

“Umm… If you want, I’ll show you to your room,” Charlie nervously offered after a brief moment of awkward silence between the two.

Vaggie nodded. “I’d appreciate that.”

Hearing the reply, Charlie beamed, and her smile grew a bit wider. “Right then, I’ll lead the way.”

She began walking toward the room meant for Vaggie. Occasionally on the way, she’d turn her head slightly to make sure the new demon was following behind her. As they walked down a hall toward the room, she noticed the other girl looking around.

“I know the place could use a bit more work. But uh, the hotel’s new and not completely done yet, so that’s why,” she spoke.

Vaggie looked at her a bit curiously when she heard the blonde’s confession. “Why’d you open the hotel then?”

“I thought more people would come here after the extermination, looking for refuge or something.”

“Sort of like me.”

“I- Yeah.”

Vaggie could hear a slight sound of shamefulness in the blonde’s voice. It was something she definitely wasn’t expecting. Worry and care were one thing, but shame was another down here in Hell. She knew many demons continued committing sins after being sent to Hell, and somehow, it sort of made her think shame wasn’t a common feeling down here.

“Well, I can’t say it didn’t work,” she chuckled a small bit, trying to lighten the mood for the other demon. “I mean, it got me to come here, so it did work.”

“That’s true. Also, we’re here,” Charlie said as they stopped in front of a door.

Vaggie slotted the key and turned it to open the door. Walking inside, she gave a quick look around. It was fairly roomy, and with a nicely made queen size bed across from a dresser and moderate-sized mirror. All in all, she found it to be a nice room.

She turned around to see Charlie still smiling at her. “Uh, thanks for this.”

“It’s my pleasure. I’m really just glad I could help,” the blonde beamed.

Vaggie nodded to show she acknowledged the girl’s words, though a wave of awkwardness quickly washed over them as they stood there struggling to make eye contact.

“Y-you probably need time to freshen up and relax after today’s earlier events, so I’ll leave you be. Oh uh, and dinner’s at six.” Charlie broke the silence first after a minute or two.

“Okay, thanks. And noted.”

“It’s no problem,” Charlie began taking steps backwards to the door. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Umm, actually… there is one thing,” Vaggie hesitantly said, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“What’s that?” Charlie asked with a smile, hoping to ease the girl’s discomfort.

“I don’t exactly have anything to change into…”

“Oh! Well, I can lend you some clothes,” Charlie offered.

“That’d be great.”

“I’ll pick out some clothes then and leave them on your bed.”

“Alright,” Vaggie nodded with a slight smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Charlie grinned back from seeing her smile too.

“Well, that’s all for now,” Vaggie said, still feeling a bit awkward.

“Okay, I’ll get you those clothes then.” Charlie opened the door to leave.

“Thanks again.”

“Of course! I’m happy to help.”

When Charlie left the room and closed the door behind her, Vaggie let out a sigh and trailed into the bathroom. She figured it was best to take a shower and clean off before laying down anywhere.

When she got inside, her eye widened. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she instantly noticed her now gray skin. Looking down at her hands, she pulled off her long gloves to reveal more gray skin rather than her usual tan olive skin. Holding her gloves in one hand, she could see that her skin was as gray as her gloves, only slightly lighter.

“I—” she started to voice her worries and scattered thoughts, but quickly found her voice caught in her throat. She wanted to cry and scream but was determined to hold it in.

When she managed to calm herself down, she turned on the water for the shower and stripped out of her clothes. Taking off her bottoms were easy, but as she tried to pull her shirt over her head, a shooting pain ran through her body. The area where her wings once were were sore and aching. Spinning around, she looked at her back in the mirror with horror.

Two fresh, bright and angry red scars stared back at her through the mirror, bringing a few tears that managed to break through to race down from her eye.

“Vaggie?” Charlie’s voice called out to her from the other side of the door.

“Y-yeah?” She tried her best to keep her voice from breaking or faltering.

“I just wanted to say I brought the clothes and left them on the bed for you,” Charlie said.

“Thanks, Charlie,” she responded back as she wiped the tears from her face with a hand.

“I’m going to leave you to it then. I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah…see you,” Vaggie said with a sigh, though the blonde was already walking out of her room.

Finally stripping out of all her clothes, occasionally wincing here and there, she got into the shower to let the warm water run over her body. She felt her body relax under the stream of water and let out a heavy sigh.

But sadly, no amount of warm showers could ease her mind.

The day’s earlier events were starting to catch up to her, and she was feeling as though she was on the verge of a breakdown. Everything in her afterlife had gone terribly wrong. One moment she was living in Heaven, then the next her girlfriend died in her arms, and to top it off, she got stuck in the pits of Hell with a bunch of demons she had spent six years trying to kill. Many emotions were running through her, and she couldn’t help but feel lost. She didn’t know how to react or process anything that had happened.

As more tears fell from her eye, she tried her best to push the thoughts away as she washed her body, careful to not hurt the scars left from her wings.

“What I need is rest right now. I’ll figure something out after,” she told herself.

Once her shower was finished, she walked out to see the clothes Charlie lent her folded on the bed, which were a pair of mix-matched thigh high socks and a white dress. After changing into the fresh clothes, she laid down on the bed, and it felt like a dream come true for her is it was all she wanted at the moment.

Closing her eye, she slowly fell into a much needed sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it!
> 
> Also, if you want, I got a Tumblr where I'll be giving updates on this story and any future ones (along with random posts here and there) you all can follow. You can also ask me stuff or send me things like ideas you'd like to see or fanart. So, for those who are interested, you can click [here](https://theawkwardkiwi.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Until next time folks!
> 
> xox Kiwi


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